Everyday Parenting with Security and Love: Using PACE to Provide Foundations for Attachment


SKU: 9781785921155 Categories: , , ,

Children that have experienced trauma, loss or separation early in life need special care and attention; they need to be parented with love and security in a way that allows them to heal and rebuild emotional bonds. This comprehensive book provides parents and carers with crucial advice and guidance on how to strengthen attachment and trust.

Based on Dan Hughes’ proven ‘PACE’ model of therapeutic parenting, this book explains how to implement PACE techniques to overcome the challenges faced by children who struggle to connect emotionally. Barriers to stable relationships such as a lack of trust, fear of emotional intimacy, and high levels of shame are all explained. It explores techniques to overcome these barriers by teaching how to support the child’s behaviour at the same time as building empathy and trust.

The practical parenting guidance offered throughout is essential for carers or parents of troubled children, and will help build safe, secure emotional relationships.


  • Introduction.
  • Section 1: Understanding challenges of parenting.
  • 1. Blocked trust: I cannot believe you love me unconditionally.
  • 2. Fear of the intersubjective relationship: I cannot let you influence me.
  • 3. Shame: I need to hide from you.
  • 4. Hidden and expressed attachment needs: I only feel safe when I hide as well as express my needs for support from you.
  • Section 2: Therapeutic parenting.
  • 5. Increasing the capacity to be mind-minded to support therapeutic parenting.
  • 6. Building connections through parenting with PACE.
  • 7. Parenting in the moment: Supporting behaviour through connection with correction.
  • Section 3: Looking after yourself.
  • 8. Learning from the past: understanding yourself through an exploration of your attachment history.
  • 9. Blocked care: losing the joy in parenting.
  • 10. Developing self-care.
  • Reading list.
  • Glossary.
Author Bio:
Kim S. Golding CBE, BSc, MSc, D. Clin. Psy. AFBPsS is a clinical psychologist who works in Worcestershire, England where she was influential in the founding of the Integrated Service for Looked After Children – a multi-agency, holistic service providing support for foster, adoptive and residential parents, schools and the range of professionals supporting children growing up in care or in adoptive families. Kim was trained and mentored by Dan Hughes in the use of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP). She is on the board of the Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy Institute supporting the use of DDP in Europe, USA and Canada. She accredits and trains professionals in the approach in the UK and has been invited to speak about this work internationally.