Simple Guide to Understanding Shame in Children: What it Is, What Helps and How to Prevent Further Stress or Trauma


SKU: 9781785925054 Categories: , , ,

The perfect starting point for any adult or carer working with children who have experienced shame, this guide provides straightforward answers and explanations to both common and complex questions. At a time when children are more likely than ever to experience shame, the accessible advice in this book helps adults to boost children’s self-esteem. Betsy de Thierry navigates the need to understand its impact and the reasons behind it, as well as how to reduce its hold on self-confidence. Reassuring advice will also help revitalize adults’ abilities to face the challenges of supporting children affected by shame. It will teach them how to restore self-esteem.


  • Preface.
  • 1. What is shame?
  • 2. What is the impact of shame?
  • 3. The neurobiology of shame.
  • 4. How do children get shamed?
  • 5. Shame symptoms: a) hiding, masks, silence and sorry.
  • 6. Shame symptoms: b) deceit, lying, critical of others and projection.
  • 7. Shame symptoms: c) self-hatred, self-rejection and anger.
  • 8. Shame symptoms: d) emotional shut down, dissociation & confusion.
  • 9. How can we help heal shame?
  • 10. Building shame resilience.
  • Conclusion.

Author Bio:

Betsy de Thierry is a mum of four brilliant boys, a practising psychotherapist and a qualified primary school teacher who has founded several charities that work directly with troubled families. She is CEO of BdT Ltd trauma training, consultancy and leadership, which supports professionals who work with traumatised children across the UK. Betsy is the Founding Director of the Trauma Recovery Centre and Director of the Institute of Recovery of Childhood Trauma


“Another brilliant book by Betsy de Thierry. Shame is such a crucial area and emotion, however one that is often overlooked. Therefore it is great to see a book that offers a deeper understanding and practical ideas for support around shame. This book is written in an accessible, engaging, and informative way. The doodles and reflective questions are fantastic too. A welcome addition to any book shelf! -Karen Treisman Thorough, underpinned by extensive researched and well-articulated. De Thierry manages to write a short guide about shame, a challenging task but one very well executed. If you’re looking to understand shame, how it seeps into our being from a very young age and how ‘toxic shame can be like a poison in our subconscious’, then this guide is for you. For parents, educators, therapists and social workers, this guide is an essential starting point pulling together all the latest knowledge, research and experience.” – Lisa Cherry, BA (Hons) Sociology, ITEC Dip HM, S.A.C. Dip., Life Coaching and Counselling, Reiki Master.