Attaching Through Love, Hugs and Play


SKU: 9781849059398 Categories: , ,

Capturing the warmth and fun of forming close relationships with children, this book offers simple advice to parents of children who find it difficult to attach and bond — whether following adoption, divorce or other difficult experiences.

Attachment therapist Deborah D. Gray describes how to use the latest thinking on attachment in your daily parenting. She reveals sensory techniques which have proven to help children bond — straightforward activities like keeping close eye contact or stroking a child’s feet or cheeks — and explains why routines like mealtimes and play time are so important in helping children to attach. The book offers positive ideas for responding to immediate crises like difficult behaviour and meltdowns, but importantly also offers longer-term strategies to help children to develop the skills they need to cope as they grow up — the ability to plan, concentrate and be in control of their emotions.

Offering fascinating insights into how children who struggle to attach can be helped, this book is full of easy-to-use ideas which will help you to enjoy the many pleasures of bonding and attaching with your child.


  • Dedication.
  • Introduction.
  • 1. Close Connections: Attaching and Bonding.
  • 2. Put Your Oxygen Mask on First
  • 3. Teaching Children to Calm, Care, and Think: Behaviour and Daily Routines.
  • 4. Helping Children with Thinking and Caring.
  • 5. ”Carrots and Sticks”, Rewards and Limits.
  • 6. Life Stories.
  • 7. Promoting Attachment in Tweens and Teens.
  • Epilogue.

Author Bio:

Deborah D. Gray is a clinical social worker specialising in attachment, grief and trauma. She is a leading figure in her field, and a sought-after presenter and trainer. She runs a private practice, Nurturing Attachments, in Kirkland, Washington, USA and has spent over 15,000 hours in the last 15 years counselling children who were adopted. Her private practice philosophy is one of empowering parents with information and techniques they can use to meet the needs of their children and develop close, satisfying relationships. She teaches in the Cascadia Resources/Northwest Adoption Resource and Portland State post-Graduate Programs in Adoption Counselling and the University of Washington’s Post-Graduate Trauma Certificate program. In her personal life, Deborah D. Gray feels linked to adoption through the family in which she grew up and has also been a therapeutic foster carer.