My Intense Emotions Handbook Manage Your Emotions and Connect Better with Others


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This is a guide to the emotional and interpersonal issues you may encounter as a young adult, packed with advice and real-life stories of hope and resilience from people in similar situations. This book will help you to gain an understanding of the influence of your early emotional experiences, and share tried-and-tested strategies, drawing on a range of psychological approaches and evidence-based strategies. This book also looks at how emotions can affect our relationships, with a focus on building empathy for others, getting what you want out of friendships and relationships and dealing with the hard parts like boundaries and saying no, making amends when needed, and recognising and breaking problematic relationship patterns. With personal stories and resources throughout, this is a guide to refer to as little or often as you like, helping you to understand your emotions and find the strategies that work best for you.


  • 1. So, what’s this book all about?
  • 2. What’s wrong with me?
  • 3. Understanding your brain
  • 4. Big emotions and relationships: Loving so much it hurts
  • 5. Bottle, bottle, bang!
  • 6. Getting the basics right: Feeling OK in your body
  • 7. Self-soothing
  • 8. Riding your emotions
  • 9. Coping in a crisis
  • 10. Being a wise owl
  • 11. Understanding the minds of others
  • 12. Saying no, and being assertive
  • 13. Getting extra help
  • 14. Self-care plan


Sue Knowles, Bridie Gallagher, Hannah Bromley.


Emmeline Pidgen

Forward by:

Kim S. Golding CBE, BSc, MSc, D. Clin. Psy. AFBPsS is a clinical psychologist who works in Worcestershire, England where she was influential in the founding of the Integrated Service for Looked After Children – a multi-agency, holistic service providing support for foster, adoptive and residential parents, schools and the range of professionals supporting children growing up in care or in adoptive families. Kim was trained and mentored by Dan Hughes in the use of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP). She is on the board of the Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy Institute supporting the use of DDP in Europe, USA and Canada. She accredits and trains professionals in the approach in the UK and has been invited to speak about this work internationally.


“This book is absolutely brilliant. The authors took a library full of therapy books and distilled their essence into a book all 14-year olds and almost every therapist will be able to understand. It is crystal clear, wide ranging, and always helpful. For the first time I have a book that I can with absolute confidence recommend to all young people I see who are persistently distressed by their intense emotions. The lively text will help the reader through the darkest moments and the copious practical advice is magically written to provide support in a highly collaborative and never in a patronizing way. This book deserves to win many prizes but, if there is one for the bursting the balloon of psychotherapeutic pretension, it is the uncontested winner.” – Professor Peter Fonagy OBE FMedSci FBA FAcSS, Chief Executive, Anna Freud National Centre for Children & Families.